The best thing you can do for yourself is to unlearn the idea that you aren’t good enough; so many people have it and it eats away at them, my notion of incompetence was so inherent that I didn’t even understand it for most of my short time on this planet. I thought I knew who I was and what I wanted out of life, yet I found myself making decisions based on what other people wanted, found myself silently seeking the approval I was so vehemently screaming about rejecting.
Up until February 2013, I had never had sex without makeup on.
Up until February 2013, I would lie about my goals and ambitions to make myself seem to desire more success than I have cared about in years.
Up until last week, my plans for the future had been the same for five years.
In short, I’d been selling myself short based on the idea that exactly who I am was somehow lacking. Lacking in what? Lacking. In. What?
I stumbled across my unlearning by accident; I’m in no position to teach so I’m sure as hell in no position to preach, but perhaps I am capable of planting the notion in the head of even one person, that maybe just maybe, who you are is just fine. That you could be happy doing exactly what you do now for the rest of your life; or conversely that you could easily pack it all in - no matter how old you are - and choose something completely new for yourself and maybe that would be fine too. That it doesn’t fucking matter whether your thighs look smaller when you sit down today than they did when you sat down last week, that it sure as hell doesn’t matter if they look bigger. That maybe the people in your life are going to continue loving you even if you do something unexpected, something uncharacteristic or even something accidentally hurtful, and that it’s okay to fuck up sometimes as long as you learn from those fuck ups and understand that no-one’s mistakes are worse, or better than anyone else’s. That we’re all flawed humans but that’s what makes us special, that if everything always went according to plan there would be no lives to live and no stories to tell.
We need to learn to live our lives rather than sitting back and wishing for/over analysing them.